Words: Wade Davis
We took the UE Boom out to Tahiti with us. We were there to cover the Billabong Pro, and we knew that the days in the channel would be long and, somewhat, boring. Being boring is the last thing you’d think of when talking about being paid to spectate the world’s best surfers surfing the world’s heaviest paddle wave, but the beautiful nature of long-period Pacific Ocean swells is that on the reef there are long lulls. And during those lulls you can swim about like a dugong, or you can check out the talent, until you realise that they are all teens and then you stop checking them out. You can drink beer, but beer is best drunk when it is spiced with beautiful music. This is where the Boom comes into play.
The beats off the Boom got us through the lulls. It diffused the awkwardness when we discovered we were perving on teens and it provided a soundtrack to both beer drinking and our frolicking in the sea. It was a part of the performances, like, people were getting tubed to the sounds of the iPhone. Kelly Slater got a bazza to One Direction and Ace Buchan won the whole thing while I blasted You Sexy Thing on repeat. It was quite fitting as I consider Ace to be quite the sexy thing.
One time when I dove overboard I knocked the UE Boom in with me. I know they’re not supposed to be submerged, but I didn’t mean to submerge it. I quickly threw it back in the boat, jumped in behind it, and shook all the water off it. The white power indicator on the top went red and I thought I was fucked, but then after a bit of shaking it went white again and continued to work. I think I put on Teardrops by Womack and Womack to celebrate.
The whole time we were there (two weeks!) we charged it once, because we kept on forgetting to charge it, and it worked the whole time. Also, this one time, I was pretty bummed out on life after hooking up with a girl I didn’t want to hook up with and The Verve’s Bittersweet Symphony was playing on the Boom and I didn’t want to hear Richard Ashcroft’s melancholy lyrics and so I kicked the Boom off a second floor balcony, and the fucking song played the whole way down to the ground and hit it with a thud, and continued to taunt me after the impact, unimpeded. At that point the Boom’s shock and dustproof capabilities were proven to me and I hated it for it.
They tell me that you could use the UE Boom as a speakerphone, but the thing is so goddamn loud that I never would, because the only numbers I call are those weird late night chat numbers and ain’t nobody got ears for that. But, if facilitating the kinks of eavesdroppers is your thang, you can pair your phone up with two UE Booms and let them know the intimacies of your wank hotline conversations. Or, you could get a party going with even more sound, stereo sound, from two sides of the room, double the 360 degree sound, 720 degree sound, man.
I’d give the Boom five stars if I was using a five and a half star rating system, but I’m not so I’ll give it an A+.
Find out more about the UE Boom, here: http://www.ultimateears.com/en-au/boom
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