Parko Packing

But not really...

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There was only one story to come out of today’s action at the Hurley Pro. Joel Parkinson, runaway world number one, was bundled out of the Trestles event by 35 year old, jungle wandering, Rob Machado. The two surfing idols couldn’t have come at this event from more opposite angles.  Joel, amid ongoing rumours about the health of his right ankle, is focused, rolling with an entourage that includes his blogger, his trainer, his manager, and a filmer (it seems Lightning Strikes 2 is already in production) and has his game face on for the current four event marathon leg that. Machado, all hair and goatee and wild eyes is here because his sponsor want him to be, because the US public ooh and ah when ever he flails his fins, because “it’s kinda cool to check it all out every now and again”.

The heat itself was nothing special. The whole day, in fact, felt flat. The swell is a brave but dying little nor-wester, and Trestles is a southerly swell magnet. For this reason the lefts are the scoring waves, and the lulls linger long. After knocking Taj Burrow in Round Two, Machado’s confidence is sound, and with a brace of mid fives, the pressure was on Parkinson with five minutes remaining. Such are the skills and confidence of the modern world tour surfer that they will sit, and sit, and sit under pressure, and Parko finally secured the wave he needed, a split second after the hooter had gone. From the beach it looked like his hands had left his rails before the horn sounded, and Joel set to work on a racy right. His first turn was a scalpel of an off the top, backed up with smart rail work to the beach. A claim may have convinced the judges to look harder at the replays, but Joel merely walked up the beach and waited as a turbo mouth cliché overloading commentator (TMCOC) gushed hyperbole. Finally it was made official, Parko hadn’t taken off in time, and will now have a coupla spare days to make the airport and jet to France.

“Maybe he needed that loss,” mumbled Kendall O’Brien, Parko’s filmer-till-the-title, to nobody in particular, as Joel brushed through the media area, and Kelly Slater paddled out to make short work of local hero Brett Simpson. If the TMCOC went wild over Rob taking down the big dog, he completely lost his bananas over the bald one. “Heading north on a Trestles bomb, watch out now,” he’d start, before Slats would get going on a two footer. The wait to reveal the score was a window for more froth, before an over the top climax letting us all know what Kelly had locked in on “the Richter scale”. It must have worked though, as Kelly was hugely overscored to lock in a nine and a high seven, and somehow leave Simpson combed.

Simpo (Americans don’t quite have this nickname thing down, everyone knows it should be Simmo) surfed a smart heat, possibly had one of the best waves, and was rewarded with a five and a four. Slater had the crowd going batty on a solid wave for his nine (that was really a seven), and then locked in a seven (that was more like a six) for a backhand 360 (hold the air). Slater was surfing fast and precise, and was throwing buckets on a stumpy little double stringered Merrick that he modeled on a Maurice Cole he’d dug at Bells. Slats leveled Simpson easily, and did enough to have the media talking about the title campaign “heating up”. In reality today takes us one step closer to Parko realizing Billabong’s dream of him claiming the crown at their event in Mundaka. 

Otherwise, today was a good one for rookies Kekoa Becalso and Michel Bourez, Facebook sponsored the expression session, and Dane Reynolds did a good air, on the fat Proton model Merrick he was riding. “I wouldna made that section on my regular board, or I woulda at least been hopping my ass off to get to it,” he laughed. “On this flat, fat thing I was okay. I didn’t really surf that wave very well to be honest,” he shrugged, wearing the dorkiest looking Quiksilver hat you ever did see. The guy is taking the piss out of life being himself, and don’t we all just love him for it?