Occy The Hammer-Slammer

Occy puts it all on a rail, on our 250 super trip. Pic Shield

Australia's most loveable surfing hero is fidgety, nervous, and is presenting to an entire room at the Jupiters Casino on Queensland's Gold Coast.
 
A special piece of memorabilia has been created - a big mural-like framed art piece featuring the signatures of all the world champions- and it is being auctioned with the proceeds going to several different charities.
 
An ensemble of surfing legends - Slater, Potter, Beachley, Horan, Egan, MR, Kong, Occy and others, have been summoned to the stage to join presenters, Nick Carroll and myself in the auction process.
 
Before we know it, Occy, as he is famous for doing, has siezed the mic and siezed the moment, and has begun to work the room, impersonating an auctioneer.
 
Some 300 guests have paid in excess of $100 per-head to attend this black-tie affair, which at the time legitimately exceeded the ASP Ball in terms of attendance and anticipation. It was always The Night!
 
Surf industry figureheads laughed and heckled as Occy worked the room, doing a fantastic, almost implausible cross between a race caller and real estate hammer slammer. Bids were made, the buying price soared – it was a hoot.
 
But just a few of us were privy to a special screening during that auction process.
 
Occy - as fidgety and nervous as he was - was literally pulling and tugging at his suit pants to the extent they’d travelled south of his butt cheeks.
 
God knows why he wasn't wearing a belt, but with the lecturn blocking the audience's view, no one in the audience - those eating their rib eye fillets n' mash potatoes, sipping on their complimentary beverages, bidding and laughing away - had any idea.
 
Meanwhile, Occy kept tugging away for minutes on end, giving myself and his peers no real option but to stare up into the bright lights, or cop a clear, uninterrupted view of his white, well-rounded and powerful buttocks.
Bizarre.
 
For the record the final price on the artwork was $10 000.